Yesterday was one of those days that once you make it to the end you just want to fall over with exhaustion. Work can be so taxing on your body, mind and spirit. Sometimes I feel like I can’t look at the same pattern again…but it’s worth seeing a garment emerge from all the chaos.

I Worked a few hours later to finish up, so I stopped to get something to eat before getting on the bus. There was a young man working who I stayed and chatted with for a bit. He was interested to know if I was a student and I explained to him that I am interning here in London. His eyes were lit with a strange excitement. For a moment I felt him vicariously experiencing my trip. He said to me, “you’re very lucky, you know that. Enjoy it”

I walked away thinking about his words. It was kind of him to chat with me and to remind me how important all of this is. I am lucky and I appreciate every moment that I have and I cherish the memories that I am able to make here. But it doesn’t come without hard work.

Once I finally made it home I wanted to go to bed. But I fought the urge to sleep for a bit. I chatted with friends online and the I had the urge to write. I’ve needed to sort through my emotions. When so many things change In such a short span of time it’s liberating and terrifying all at once. I wrote about what’s happened the past few years and I read through old poems and journal entries.

Two years ago I set out on another journey. I moved from home to go to school. I found my own apartment and pulled together all the resources I could. Some people in my life were pessimistic about the whole thing…insisting that I would never be able to afford it. But I did and I never let it bring me down. That’s how I got here to London. I took a dream and I asked the dream to unfold with me.

I remember siting in my new studio alone writing about life and change and contemplating all of my transformations…the same as now. The magic of life is that it’s a changeless change. We take steps to become who we’ve always been in someways. You have to be grounded in who you are right now and where you’re going.

I was afraid then. I was young and it was all new and I had no clue what to expect, but I packed my dreams and all my special things and I went for it and I love where I am now. Being here in London is another facet of that transformation.

Before I went to bed…well before sleep took me over, I wrote about where I am now. There were words in my heart that I was compelled to spill out. In words you can get it all out and really heal your soul.

I finally gave in to sleep and as I drifted off I thought about all the beautiful adventures I’ve been on. Looking back at them all I see how they blessed me, no matter how dark they felt at the time. I fell asleep knowing that I am where I’m meant to be.

This morning I pulled the nine of cups. I call this the wish card. It always symbolizes to me that what you’ve been pulling to you is coming to be. This card is about honoring emotions and feelings. No matter how you feel you must listen to it…ask the feeling where it comes from and how it serves you.

If you listen to your feelings and find their gift you will learn to navigate through every bend in the road. Our emotions are Indicators of where we are at this moment. What are you resisting and/or embracing?

I am sitting here now trying to stay grounded. I’m taking in my feelings about this trip and letting it all inspire me…I’m settled knowing that my efforts are paying off. I’m still young and wide eyed and still going with the wind. It’s important to me to dedicate myself to something uplifting and inspiring. I’m reminded by this card that my wishes are being fulfilled in more ways than I know…as long as I keep going forward.

Enjoy the day and expect a gift soon. Even if it’s a moments reprieve from the stress you are under. Contemplate your feelings…what is their source?

Much love,
Shaheen

(c) Shaheen Miro 8/1/2011