Purging

I’ve been feeling a little bit ungrounded lately, trying to juggle myself between school, life, and all the things in between. Sometimes I feel like I need a respite from it all, just a little more time to allow myself to be… in silence and healing. Sometimes I imagine the strong and gentle arms of the universe cradling me, with warm and loving embrace and a lullaby that calms my heart and soul. I wish I could stay in those moments forever.

The 11 of Diamonds. Walking a thin line, between contrasting worlds. Stress and tension. It may be time to come down and rest.

It may be wise for me to invest in a mental health day, just to lay around in my pjs and read or do something that is carefree. I am in dire need of a recharge. I think that this time of the year always lends itself to letting go of things… it’s a time of purging the old and the worn out. I have been in an intense process of alchemy for some time now, London was a huge part of this, and now that I am back the change continues… but I am now really learning to let go.

Part of me is saddened by this process of letting go because it means that I not only have to let go of worn out ideas and beliefs, but also people. Sometimes we out grow our time together and we have to say goodbye, with love and thanks… we cherish the good that comes with a friendship/partnership and then it’s time to move on and we have to keep the good with us… but it’s never easy.

I have been learning to not take things so personally from other people because we are all doing the best we an at the time, but I am however learning to take better care of myself. I am learning that I teach people how to treat me, how to love me, how to respect me… and if it’s not how I want to be treated then I have to make a change. Now is the time for me to wave goodbye to the old ones, the dying legends. I want to recover the parts of me that have been buried under dust.

For some time I haven’t been writing here because I just haven’t known what to say, but I hope that can change soon. I want to share everything, and I want to know all the facets of your story as well. For me I’ve needed a bit of rest from writing because I’ve needed to be with my feelings on the inside. Lately I haven’t felt that inspired, school especially has been hard. I feel like I am not hearing my muse… and sometimes I feel like I am recycling old ideas. I have always said that the chronic things in our lives are teachers that we have decided to ignore… maybe I should ask myself what I’m not learning.

I know that this time of year is about letting go, like I said we are purging for the rest of winter. How are you feeling? Is there anything that you are trying to let go of? Maybe it would help if you wrote it down somewhere… maybe write an “unsent” letter to yourself, or the person who you are feeling trouble with. Allow yourself to release, even if it feels scary. You will feel much lighter if you trust in the process… I am trying to do that very thing.

Many blessings to all of you… to the gypsies

Shaheen

© Shaheen Miro 10/10/2011

7 thoughts on “Purging

  1. Blessings to you too Shaheen. I can relate to your post! I’m not sure I can even say I’m trying to let go, since the word “trying” implies I’m working hard at it (and therefore haven’t let go) whereas I think at the core of it I want to just accept everything in its totality and let it be. I know I have not let go or resolved issues because my throat literally throbbs with a pulsating kind of pain on the left side whenever issues or past hurts are bought up to the light. It’s about throat chakra issues…

    Today I sat under a budding oak in the public gardens and shuffled my cards in trust and received such beautiful messages. I shall try writing a letter and do a ritual, burn it and release the past. Many blessings.

  2. A very interesting and inspiring post for all of us, Shaheen. You need only read it, realise that we all have unresolved issues, and that is the beginning of the healing for some.

    I am good at cutting away in some respects. But in others, I don’t ‘weed out the garden’ as often as I should. When that happens, the same old problems come back again, giftwrapped in different packaging and situations, and they continue to appear until we deal with them. Failure and abandonment are two of my biggest ones. I have to get back into my past and weed out those things that have happened so that they don’t continue to affect me. Sometimes, a band aid is not enough.

    So glad to hear from you on here. Was thinking of you only yesterday and was wondering how you are. The great things about blogs is that we can pick them up and put them down when we feel. If they become a chore and we feel we have to write them for the sake of it, then they’re doing no good for anyone. I think yours has the right balance.

    Hugs
    PLN

  3. I hear you my friend! I know I’ve been in great need of silence and mental healing! It’s coming to a point in which I cannot hear my own voice, I don’t even know what I want anymore. All is burried under a lot of mental/emotional/spiritual garbage, and it’s hard to separate the wheat from the chaff.

    No amount of card reading can help us when we can’t listen to our own voices.
    I feel a bit like Tori Amos’ song “Silent all these years”.

    I have noticed that many of my friends who blog are going through a similar phase… as if we were all feeling more introspective, needing to understand our own lessons and experiences better before sharing them with the world. This silence must be respected, specially in this noisy world in which we live.

    Take care, dear friend!

  4. Well I for one Hope you won’t be absent from the Land Of Blog for long because you have Wisdom beyond your years my Friend! These things you are learning are things that took me past Midlife to have a revelation about! *winks* Great Post… full of Sage advice and Wise Words! I too am in a period of intense Alchemy… I feel it is a good thing… just not always a comfortable thing…

    Blessings from the Arizona Desert… Dawn… The Bohemian

  5. Thanks for a timely and beautiful post.

    I hope you were able to take that mental health day.

    I’ve been feeling crazed and mental for a while–I think I need to take a cue from your writings.

    Hugs Galore,
    MM

  6. A very nice and personal post Sheehan. The card you drew speaks volumes doesn’t it? 2011 has been a hard year and I believe the more “silent” types have bared witness to this even more so, you’re moment is just around the corner :)

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