unfinished business

Memories, feelings and thoughts, left lingering on the edge of your mind and heart. Sometimes they seep into your veins, encompassing every part of you. Looking out at life and seeing the repetitive things that leaves nothing but a sour taste of confusion in your mouth. Wondering what the reason is for this reoccurring ghost.

What is it that keeps you held to this circumstance, this feeling, this person? What is this cycle that you cannot find your way out of? It’s as if some spirits haven’t been appeased, an unsettled force that infiltrates all aspects of your life.

You ignore, fight, push and scream at all these things that you just can’t shake. You look in the mirror, saying to yourself, that you have moved on… the feelings have changed, the situation has changed, your mind has changed… but there is still something to be learned.

This unfinished business isn’t here to torture you. It’s not a curse that you will never break. It’s a teacher in disguise. Sometimes it feels like a wicked devil staring you down… but in many ways it’s your guardian angel taking you deeper into your own spirit. If you hold out this dark night, you will be sure to find strength and empowerment deep within your spirit.

Those things in your life that seem to be chronic, constant and never ending are the things that we haven’t completely learned from. Situations and circumstances cycle through our lives, and the sooner we absorb the essence of their lesson… the sooner the ghost are put to rest and we can move onto the next thing.

Between two lives. Fighting a feeling that I thought had already died. A ghost and a renegade… haunting and taunting. I’ll listen this time… maybe now when I go, it will ease my heart and mind… finally this unfinished business can be laid to rest.

© Shaheen Miro 1/17/2011

haunted no more: an exercise to let go

I have been thinking a lot lately about the past, about people, and about rebirth. I see people like webs, they tangle into each other, they hold onto things from other people and experiences. Sometimes they are damaged in the storm and sometimes they never let go. We hold onto too much and it begins to way us down. The key to living happily is learning to let go.

I keep drawing personal cards and the swords keep appearing. The 5 of swords has shown up more than a few times, as has the king and basically the whole suit. I keep asking myself how the swords relate to me. I am beginning to realize that I am in the process of letting go, needing to cut away and move on. The swords are symbolic of my state of body, mind and spirit.

The autumn is here and its time to give back to the earth, to let the old fall away and allow the darkness to cradle us into rebirth. I love the cool feeling that lives in the air at this time of year. There is something freeing about the wind moving through you and everything feels so silent and at ease. The ghosts are knocking on our door, to be greeted and acknowledged for their wisdom and then sent back to the other side.

I think its time for me to ask what ghosts still linger around me and what they have to say. You may want to speak to your ghosts… these can be the ghost of a love that had gone wrong, or the ghost of rejection or the ghost of your childhood. Its time to sit down and ask them for a message, listen to it and then let them go.

None of us want to be haunted by feelings or experiences or even our fears. We want to live freely and inspired. I know I am letting go of many people and habits and worn out emotions at this time. I am thanking them for their love and their lessons and I am inviting them to leave. I know I personally hold onto things longer than I need to and it eats up my energy…. So here I go getting it back.

For a week sit down with a piece of fresh paper and answer the question, “Who are the ghosts that follow me and if I could hear them… what would they say?” See your problem as a ghost and allow it to speak to you. Imagine what the ghost of “unhappy-with-my-job” would say to you or whoever it may be. Read over what you write and then burn the paper or rip it up into little pieces to release it.

Much love,

Shaheen

 

© Shaheen Miro 9/19/2011

Fearlessly being me.

Tonight I sit here with the cool breeze blowing through the lace of my windows and I feel something wild and explosive. I hear the people chattering below me on the streets and it slowly fades into the drowning hum of my own thoughts that race at a million miles a minute. I stop for one second remembering that I am almost 4,000 miles away from home and at some points I feel worlds away and at others I feel so isolated that its like I am back at home.

Baby Ali climbing places that I tell him not to!

I am reminded of my best friend saying to me, “You don’t have to be somewhere to be someone.” And now my retort is, “You don’t have to be somewhere to be no one. Either.” I honestly feel at times that I am so isolated even in the crowded streets of London. The same slow ride to work and the same hastily walk home…. And I ask myself where is the color?

I have felt so stifled because my creativity as begging to be let loose. I have been working for days doing my internship, which has been amazing because of the magnitude at which I am learning. But it takes its toll on your hear and spirit. I want to write and sing. I want to take my seat at a shiny grand piano and touch the ivory keys… the surge of creativity running through my veins; and I want to sing…songs about life and love and loss and all the other feelings that crawl through every fiber of your being asking to be acknowledged.

I keep hearing the words, “Fearless” in my mind. Like a ghostly whisper that calls to me from somewhere far away… just be fearless. I affirm to myself, “I am fearless… I am fearlessly being me.” But I shrink back from the mirror at the look in my eyes… because I know that there are parts of me that are terrified to step off that ledge to just being.

I believe our fears are the killers of our creativity. So many times something bright and colorful and ephemeral has come to me like a fairy vision…and I have let it fly on by because I feared the consequence of answering to the call. I now realize that in order to live a life filled with the biggest dreams… we must be brave and wild and uninhibited. We must look our fears straight in the eyes and say, “I will not let you take me… I will fight you… Because I will NOT be taken prisoner…”

Its when we find all the might in our little gypsy souls to just stand out and be brave, that we finally make magic. I know its scary… its scary to answer to the call of our creativity and our inspiration because that may mean being alone… it may mean standing out. You may be looked at because you are “different” or “strange” or whatever labels that FEAR causes us to put on things… but when you do it you become a force that cannot be tamed… you become like the wind taking down everything in its path.

There is a silent community that grows out of the fearless ones. One finds another until you have a circle stronger than any one fear could ever be. I ask you now to be fearless and be inspired. Let your muse guide you. Tie those nastily little feelings of rejection and insecurity up with the heaviest robe and sink it to the bottom of the sea!

For days now I have felt this strange presence around me. I will walk into a room and its as if someone has just left. Or I will be climbing the stairs and the muffled sound of footsteps seems to follow close behind. Or a mysterious music will play off in the distance and now as I write this I wonder if that presence that so silently floats in and out of my awareness is my muse… she is saying, “Hey please pay attention to me.”

I challenge myself to do something crazy…. Something wild… wild in the sense that I am stepping out of my comfort zone. I don’t know about you but I have a whole list of things that I “Want to do but cant because…” and now I am going to look at it and mark off each thing one by one.

In the past when I have rushed head first into the dangerous territory of the unknown I have later stopped back and said, “wow… that wasn’t scary at all!” And  I know now that is the magic of just taking a risk. Lets fearlessly be who we are… Lets be a tribe of brave little gypsies expressing everything that lives in our wild hearts!

Be brave,

Shaheen

© Shaheen Miro 7/4/2011