When we are feeling lost, confused, lonely and depressed, it is easy to pick a part other people. It’s natural for us to judge what is different. We tend to pull apart other’s flaws and weaknesses in order to cover up our own. It’s easier to point out their perceived imperfections than to look in the mirror. And when we do finally take a look in the mirror and evaluate the reflection looking back… we tear that apart as well.
Gandhi said, to be the change you wish to see in the world. If you want the world to smile at you… you must smile at it. I know when I am confused or frustrated I become judgmental and I pick others apart as well as myself. But I have to stop myself for a moment and affirm, “I see and honor the light within each person and they see and honor the light within me.” I tell myself that everyone is doing the best they can at this time… even if it isn’t what I see as the best.
You don’t have to like someone, but just because you don’t like them doesn’t mean you need to judge them. I may not like the color yellow, but my feelings for it remain neutral because yellow just isn’t for me. That is the key when dealing with people or situations that aren’t up to our liking… you must become neutral to them. The more you push at the object of your judgement the more it pushes back. It becomes a ghost mocking and haunting you.
The old saying, that we judge in others what we see in ourselves holds weight here. It is true at times that we see something dangerious and exciting in others actions and we judge them for it… they have stepped outside of the self imposed rules and regulations and they are living as rebels. We all secretly love the rebels we hate.
Lets make it a goal to honor the parts of people that usually irritate us. Let’s celebrate their “flaw”, their annoying habit… or whatever. It may not always work, but it’s a good thought to be mindful of.
© Shaheen Miro 4/5/2012