The Darkness

Life is a series of cycles. There are ups and downs, backs and forth. There is a strange feeling of limbo that you feel will never break. There are times when things feel hot, arid and dry. And then there are the times when you are caught in the storm. The most memorable of times are when you are in the dark.

Dancing in the dark is something we all must do. You have to befriend the night.

What is the dark?

The dark is that space within and around you where you feel abandoned, lost and confused. It is that space where you feel completely out of control… poked and prodded by chaos and fear.

The dark is really the beginning and the end. The alpha and omega. The dark is the womb of creation. The tomb of destruction. The cave of regeneration. You fall into the dark when you are stepping out of your box. You are pushed in the dark when you are growing beyond your personal limitations.

The Tower card in the Tarot is a symbol of the dark. The illustration shows a huge tower looming over the ocean… mighty, strong, tall, and indestructible… yet the foundation is cracked. The top is struck by lightening. The invincible monolith is destroyed, and it topples into the ocean. It symbolizes the ending of beliefs posing as facts. The ending of life as you know it!

You must learn to dance in the dark. If you stand still and make no move or sound… you will eventually become a shadow. You’ve seen people who’ve been consumed by the dark, letting fears, addiction, pain and psychosis take their lives. This isn’t to point the finger, or to be accusatory. Some people struggle because their soul chose that as their journey.

But if you learn to dance in the dark, you will marry the night. The dark is one big, crazy disco. You may not always like the song, but if you let the rhythm (intuition) guide you… you’re sure to get the next place. Sometimes you have to slow grind, sometimes you have to twerk, sometimes you have to waltz in the dark!

The dark, the unknown, the night, the chaos… it isn’t your enemy… no matter how much you misunderstand it, or fight it. You will realize in time that it is your friend. It test your limits, pushes you to the breaking point… and shows you what you’re really made of.

Remember even in the dark you have a little spark of light inside of you. So close your eyes and glow in the dark. Listen to the beat, and move yourself through to the end.

© Shaheen Miro 2013

Just Like the White Wing Dove: R.I.P Sylvia Browne

I was devastated to learn that Sylvia Browne passed away this morning. I slept horribly last night, woke up many times, and eventually found myself sitting up in bed with a pounding headache. The day began with an “off” feeling that persisted thought the course of the day. When I finally heard the news about her passing it all made sense!

Sylvia has been a beautiful influence in many peoples lives, including mine. Her books, lectures and teachings have touched on so many deep and moving things. I know that I devoured her books when I was younger, and even now I reference her work in my own. Though some people have a negative view of her, I’ve always found her wit, candor and wisdom to be uplifting and insightful.

I met Sylvia at one of her lectures when I was still in High School. Her warm eyes looked into me, and she pulled me closer and listen as I spoke. She signed my books and conversed with me… for those few minutes she gave me her undivided attention. I gifted her with a journal I had bound for her. A few months later I found a letter in the mail written to me from Sylvia, thanking me for the gift, the conversation and apologizing for the delay in responding. I will never forget that.

Sylvia, I know you are having a wonderful celebration wherever you are. We will miss you, but your spirit, your work and all your love will still carry us through for years to come. And if you ever need to chat… you know how to find me ;-)

My prayers go out to Sylvia, and her family. I am sorry for your loss, and I know we are all deeply saddened by the loss of such a legend. All of prayers are lighting her path back home.

All the best,

Shaheen

Re-post: As All This Comes to An End

For the past few days the Ancient Feminine Wisdom deck has been on my mind, so while I was cleaning this evening I pulled it out. These cards are so beautifully illustrated with goddesses and heroines of Greek mythology. I decided to pull a card, asking for insight that would be relevant to everyone.

I pulled Demeter, which fittingly says at the bottom, “Letting Go”. This card is gorgeous, illustrated with the Goddess standing in a field of grain. She is an Earth goddess and is often linked with the cycles of the season’s… birth, growth, death and rebirth. She is the bringer of the winter and summer. She is the goddess of the harvest. And because of her connection to Persephone, her daughter… she represents the feelings of loss, grief and letting go.

Demeter is a reminder to us to let go of what has weighed us down this past year. It is time to let go of the worn out thoughts and feelings, the perceived failures and heartaches. It is time to walk away from the pain and disappointment and know that a new year is upon us… the wheel is beginning to turn again and a new opportunity is coming for you.

The New Year is a time of starting new projects, adapting new ideas and philosophies. It’s a time to begin doing things you have felt you should do all year, but didn’t have the courage to. Because we all respond to cycles and changes, this is the perfect time of year to allow yourself to make a shift in thinking.

Instead of just making a list of new years resolutions… also make a list of all things you want to let go of. Take your list of goals, dreams and resolutions and burn a pure white candle over them as a prayer for Divine assistance… and in that candles flame light the paper with all the things you are letting go of… and release them. Cast their ashes to the wind. This is a symbolic gesture of letting go of the old and manifesting the new.

Happy New Year and good luck to you. Sending you many blessings and pure energy.

To the gypsies… with love,

Shaheen

© Shaheen Miro 2011

beautiful boys

We were beautiful boys, too young to know better, and too proud to walk away. Something died in our hearts and minds, and was left rotting in the dark places of our souls. You had no clue how much you burned me and like a moth, I kept flying, a suicide bomber, back into your light.

They were strange, and made of gold. They glowed with warmth, but to the touch they were cold. You say everything will be okay… but once again, you do not know the path at which they go. They are always leaving. Dispensing their sorrows, to the wind with the dandelion heads. It was almost Summer then.

Keep your clothes on; there is no need to stand bare before me. There is nothing I wish to see, though I know every line that lives under your clothes. You were sculpted from the dark clay of the earth and fired in the kiln of the mountains. I saw you baptized by the fragile sea and kissed by the sun. So stand there in all your glory, but do not shed your clothes… for your exposed body would surly destroy me.

Now that there is nothing left to say. No one dares even write to the other. Let’s just let it float off into dust. You are not a fallen star to me. You will always shine. You gave me a chance, a voice and time to make my art. I have written down every word. I’ve taken it all in. Though we are saying good-bye to dying legends… the legends live on as stars; Lights in the night, to guide us home.

© Shaheen Miro 2/11/2012

beautiful one

He was deadly, beautiful and manipulating. Dark caramel eyes that charmed snakes. I remember his poetry under lamplights on darkened street. He spoke words that sounded new and shinny, sweet like hard candy and dreams. I never had his silence and patience. I stumbled over my feelings. He said secrets are easy to keep if they never leave your lips.

I looked through the diamond in the door and saw your face. A heavy-handed, “knock, knock” shook the chipping wood. My heart skipped a beat with each bang. You were deadly to me. In that moment I knew. I pulled you into my veins… sour, syrupy, venom that eats me from the inside out.

His warm hands held mine. I saw one dark circle imprinted on the map of his palm. That was me. I am printed on you. I am part of your destiny, marked by God. You can reach for others. You can reach for the shadows. But you will always be touching me. X marks the spot. Remember me foretelling of someone to come? I saw it there, in your palm.

The lights went out and I pushed myself closer, wanting to feel small in your arms. Your soft lips wrapped around mine. I was a child quivering in the nighttime heat. The pangs of love were needles digging deeper into my soul. I remember once you tried to ease my doubts with words, like your poetry, the words were right. But I never felt better. Those words were stitches that wouldn’t heal.

His sour kisses infected the sunshine. The caress of his hand down my thigh brought castles to ruins. We were higher than Icarus touching the sky. You faded back to black, asking the fiends to make you real again. I was the puppet master… you only danced at midnight when I placed my hand on your back.

Two souls were taken out of time and put into different plays. We dance on opposites sides of the sea. Turning circles, around corridors we have haunted before. Midnights still flash in my mind, metallic light cuts me open when I doze of to sleep. I’m reminded that you are worlds away. I’m still aching, when it’s cold and damp in my bones.

He let go of me. Wrote it down on a scrap of paper and threw it under the plane while it flew away. I packed up all the baggage and gave it to charity. I wasn’t leaving any mess for you to castaway in. You can’t remember me that way. I’ll rap myself in black lace and become the night.

When I sit here at this broken down piano touching keys, I’m touching the memory of you. The memory of a love song we use to sing. I wanted your ivory eyes. You could not give me what I thought I would need. I looked for too much outside of myself.

This is not a tragedy. Though love can be tragedy. This is the most powerful love story. Friendship has overcome heartache. We are torn lovers who still long to hold each other when the world gets too tough. You will make it better because you protect me. I will make it better because I will never let the darkness consume you.

My candle always burns at the end of the tunnel. Here is home. My heart will always cradle you.  I won’t be angry if he finds love… because love is for the beautiful. You’re the beautiful one to me.

I lay these lilies on the bridge, an offering to God. Shine down on me; show me my face in your face. You are the mirror in the sky and I need my own reflection. We never truly see our own beauty until we learn to swallow the monster. Love comes from love.

 

© Shaheen 2/2/2012

memento mori

There was something dangerous, sparkling in your eyes. You were hypnotic, like a deadly viper ready to suck the life from my body and soul. I was paralyzed by your poison, the second you touched my lips. I went under softly, quietly. I began to slip away.

There was a numb feeling that lingered heavy in my bones. It made my headache with the sticky sent of sandalwood and perspiration. You were worshipping me, and yet I was the sacrifice that preceded your descent, into the unfaithful underworld. No one knew what you were saying, behind your worlds… only me.

The haunting repeated nightly, the same ritual of sleep, and nightmare, and kiss and touch… and remembering again, and again. The things that could never change; your destiny. You were the one that said, love was the sin. I never questioned one word, nor did I deceive you.

I now know that the truth must be spoken, before the lie becomes too real. So many nights did we lie, never speaking a word of what weighed heavy on our hearts and minds. You were so cold and I was misguided. Two children should never be given a loaded gun, as we blew ourselves beyond recognition of the pure things we once were.

Do you still feel my heartbeat in your ear, as an imprint that will forever live in the scar tissue of your memories? I am not going anywhere, no matter how long it takes for you to get it right. I may change, but haven’t I always been a part of your metamorphosis? You couldn’t get beyond this shadow if you tried, and I thought you were the real king.

Renegades and thieves. They fought to get here to where I held tightly to your china doll eyes. I had everything in my hands, even if I had dropped it a time or two. The cracks were filled. A little memento mori. They can come and say their prayers at night, gently tucked away at my knees. Would you hear them?

The weights are still on me, the heaviness of your body, coiled around mine. I am suffocating. Then I wake up. I see soft, thick smoke, hanging over me in the nighttime. My eyes will never adjust to this madness. You can be a million miles away and even in the darkness of a room, with closed windows and doors… you find me. I lit that candle by my bedside, called on the Gods and dedicated it to your memory.

They dance with the dead sometimes, I hear… down there in the dungeon. You keep going there to repeat your pain. You used to dance with me. If the lips are red, does that mean they are alive? I have looked in the eyes of many dead men… and if you believe the lie just right… they can live again. You were the one dancing with a ghost. You can convalesce your life away.

I hear the moon will grow dark in a few days. So I have nailed all my sorrows and troubles to a board of the purest pine and I have wrapped it in black silk. I will pour vinegar and holy water over it and lay it to rest at the cross roads. Maybe the screaming will subside as Hecate swallows all my pain.

Don’t worry my little sleeping prince, my renegade… even if you are not the real king… I will still believe you. I may say one thing, but read the words behind my lips… that’s where you’ll find the truth. It taste like a bittersweet potion, belladonna and elecampane. Don’t forget me, lingering on your tongue and lips. I will flow into the well of your soul… someday my seeds will grow.

© Shaheen Miro 1/23/2011

as all this comes to an end

For the past few days the Ancient Feminine Wisdom deck has been on my mind, so while I was cleaning this evening I pulled it out. These cards are so beautifully illustrated with goddesses and heroines of Greek mythology. I decided to pull a card, asking for insight that would be relevant to everyone.

I pulled Demeter, which fittingly says at the bottom, “Letting Go”. This card is gorgeous, illustrated with the Goddess standing in a field of grain. She is an Earth goddess and is often linked with the cycles of the season’s… birth, growth, death and rebirth. She is the bringer of the winter and summer. She is the goddess of the harvest. And because of her connection to Persephone, her daughter… she represents the feelings of loss, grief and letting go.

Demeter is a reminder to us to let go of what has weighed us down this past year. It is time to let go of the worn out thoughts and feelings, the perceived failures and heartaches. It is time to walk away from the pain and disappointment and know that a new year is upon us… the wheel is beginning to turn again and a new opportunity is coming for you.

The New Year is a time of starting new projects, adapting new ideas and philosophies. It’s a time to begin doing things you have felt you should do all year, but didn’t have the courage to. Because we all respond to cycles and changes, this is the perfect time of year to allow yourself to make a shift in thinking.

Instead of just making a list of new years resolutions… also make a list of all things you want to let go of. Take your list of goals, dreams and resolutions and burn a pure white candle over them as a prayer for Divine assistance… and in that candles flame light the paper with all the things you are letting go of… and release them. Cast their ashes to the wind. This is a symbolic gesture of letting go of the old and manifesting the new.

Happy New Year and good luck to you. Sending you many blessings and pure energy.

To the gypsies… with love,

Shaheen

© Shaheen Miro 12/30/2011

daily card(s): “grace”, the lady of faith, the lord of the forest

I slept in a bit this morning because I needed to recharge myself. I am such a night owl and I just feel more passionate when the sun goes down. I find myself wanting to write, draw, sing and create… which is unfortunate because I have to be quiet. I feel wonderful this morning though, no rushing, no agenda. I like when I can sit in my bed and listen to music and just take in the day, the words, the feelings. It really puts you in a different frame of mind and it affects the rest of your day.

I have had the past on my mind a lot, or my life at home I guess would be more accurate. I thought by coming here to London I would be healing and letting go of old patterns and feelings. I have literally been taken out of my life at home, like someone picked me up and sat me here in London. Nothing is really the same here. I thought that when I returned a lot of what had been bothering me would have cleared up and I would feel a little bit of freedom from it. But I dont believe thats the case. I have grown and changed, but the end of the chapter isn’t me stepping back on that plane.

I spent the evening with a friend of mine, having coffee and talking about life. We sat there discussing work, dreams and living and he said to me, “I admire you for doing what you love, regardless.” I was moved by that. Sometimes I wonder if I am strong enough to continue pursuing my dreams. Though I would never give up, I sometimes wish I could just rest for a 100 years or I wish that the dream would just appear. But my mother taught me that its in the work we come to appreciate what we achieve. I admire my friend greatly because he views life in a different way that I and for him to still respect me… it’s touching.

As I sat there sharing my stories with him and taking in his own, I realized how sad it is that I must leave this place. At first I felt lost, and then I felt a little jaded, and now I feel connected… London is my second home I believe. There is something here in the spirit of it all that has taken me. I will always want to return. Its so vast, yet small. Its so cold, yet filled with love. Its a rambling place, of history and contradictions, mixed with inspiration and a tinge of chaos. I love it all. It’s sad to think it may be years before I return. Its sad to think that the friends I have made may never see me again… but I will do my best to not let that happen.

I am blessed to have had the chance to come here. This has been a major part of my journey. Like the haunting owl I am on a search… it’s probably endless. There is something powerful about travel and meeting new people. Starting a new life, no matter how temporary, it gives you a sense of belonging and a sense of strength. I will keep this time with me, the people I’ve met will always be precious to me. And I believe when I return home I will have changed for than I know… for the better obviously. I am shedding my layers of pain.

I pulled 3 cards this morning from The Heart of Faerie Oracle. This deck is so alive to me. I always love what comes up because the cards just vibrate and they truly get to the heart of their message. The first card I pulled is a mystery card… it has no name. I instantly saw “Grace”…. so thats what I will call her. Then I pulled the Lady of Faith, whom I love! And the Lord of the Forest… he has looked into my soul a time or two.

Grace is a card that hold so much meaning to me because she tells me to get back to basics. She is part Unicorn, either in race or spirit, and she tells me to learn to be comfortable in my body, my mind and my spirit. Her message is to be “naked” in every sense of the word. Freely exposed to the world, yet not vulnerable. She says that if you let down the walls, shed the pain, and lift the veil of fear…. standing as you truly are to the world you will have what is considered true grace! I silently ask her to give me the strength for this!

the Lady of Faith is so beautiful to me. She has come to me many times. She wears armor to protect her, yet she leaves her heart exposed because she doesn’t want to block out experience. The Lady of Faith protects and guards you. Her message is to remember that you have worth and that worth is something you should believe in. For me she is saying, “Through all the changes and experience you encounter, no matter how hard it may seem, you are finding your spirit. No one can ever define your worth, but you and to let your worth be judged by others is to allow yourself to be seen through their eyes, which will be clouded by their own experiences. No one can judge your soul because its yours alone. Believe in yourself in your darkest hour… and know that love will find you there.”

The Lady of Faith reminds me to be free, as in the message of “Grace”, but she ask me to keep myself safe. Only let down your walls when you are ready to stand firm in your self worth. This message is so necessary for me right now because I felt a little let down by people in my life. Someone whom I cared about very much sort of tarnished me. I still care about this person, but our relationship has changed and though I have had a hard time with the change… it seems to not have been a problem for him. It made me question what it is about me… and I realized it isn’t anything to do with me… but that wasn’t very comforting at first. So here I stand picking up the pieces and finding strength and giving love because thats the only way to heal anything.

The third and last card is the Lord of the Forest. He is the energy of action and masculinity. He is a protector of the lady of the forest and he guard the fragile, gossamer dreams that she gently weaves. The Lord of the Forest always seems to poses me with his eyes, he looks in me, he looks through me. He is the kind of spirit that makes you feel uneasy… but not necessarily in a negative way. He tells me to take action, no more time to sit and be idle. If I want something… a dream perhaps then I need to DO something. Which isn’t always easy.

The Lord of the Forest isn’t much for being idle. He is a leader, a mover and a untamed force. He urges you to be a leader. He urges me to be the victor and the flag bearer. I if I want to get through these changes and get to the other side with my treasures in had, then I have to be firm in my goal and I have to blaze the trail. I know he is leading me to the end of this… protecting me.

These cards are all so powerful to me. I really needed their messages to remind me of what I am doing and where I am going. Their messages give me a jolt of energy. It brings me to my senses. So here I stand at the sea with a handful of ashes and I cast them to the wind… I give away all the problems, the pain and the fears. They are not my own anymore…

“The haunting owl, the haunting owl/She cries, she screams, she shrieks out loud/wide eyed because she cannot slumber/bound to fly in shameful wander/perched atop the Churchill tower, silence, waits, she draws on power/night and day, time the same/ she flies in furry, she flies for change.”

To all your gypsy souls… with love

Shaheen

(c) Shaheen Miro 8/18/2011

Pick up the pieces and go home

I spotted this card randomly on the floor of a friends house and I instantly felt that it was relevant. I believe that the cards ways fall with a purpose and this was no exception.

The five of hearts (cups) is a card that holds a lot of significance when it comes to releasing emotional burdens. This card spoke to me because it hints at a shift in energy that I’ve been sensing lately.

Ask yourself: am I dealing with a relationship that has lost it’s magic? Is it time for me to let go of the place I am at right now and move on? Am I afraid of how change will affect me?

Be honest with yourself and be brave when the answer comes to you. Life is in a constant state of change, that’s what allows us to be beautiful, dramatic nomads.

With love,
Shaheen

(C) Shaheen Miro 6/19/2011

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