6 Ways to Deal With Negative People

Lets face it we all have negative people in our lives. They can be toxic and draining. Sometimes the amount of negative energy being thrown at us can be so overwhelming that you can’t bare it any longer. It begins seeping into your own thought patterns and tainting your energetic story. You love them, you can’t live without them… but it seems unbearable to live with them at times! How do you combat the negative influence of these people? Here are a few tips for dealing with negative energy from people in your life.

  1. Be Clear. Be clear with your perspective of what you believe, want and need out of life. Often times the most influential negative people link into our weak spots and feed our insecurities which leads us down the rabbit hole and further into chaos. Be firm with what you want and need out of life. When they oppose those beliefs stay strong… and send them positive energy. Never feed their misery. Shine the light on their darkness. We all need that now and again.
  2. Create Boundaries. Boundaries are always essential because they tell energy where to go, and not to go. When it comes to negative people they usually want something from you. They want to link into your abundant positive energy and feed off of it. Or they want someone to fumble in the dark with them. If you create boundaries it keeps this from happening! The easiest boundary you can create is the White Light of protection.
  3. Reflect. Be open and honest with yourself. Ask yourself why this person is targeting you. Is it because they feel so close to you that they can confide in you? Is it because you are typically a positive person? Or a negative person? Is this a spouse? Or someone you feel responsible for? People are often mirrors, and their actions toward us can shed light on our own personalities and perspective.
  4. Tele Talk. When a person is especially difficult to deal with, and you feel your efforts never get through to them. Then talk to them telepathically. Spend 5-10 minutes a day sending them positive, affirmative and clear mental messages or pictures of what you are trying to get across to them. This should be informative, not judgmental. This will seep into their psyche and often come out in waking life without them even realizing it.
  5. Ground. Grounding is an important energetic step in daily life. You should ground yourself when you feel scattered, flighty, dull or just off. There are many methods you can use, but you can easily ground by placing your bare feet on the earth for a few minutes. Or doing a few yoga poses such as a few rounds of sun salutation. Do this after you’ve had an intense encounter with someone negative.
  6. Sweeten Things Up! Try a little folk method of sweetening things up between you and the person, or the situation. Write the name of those who are being negative or moody on a piece of paper 9 times. Write your name over their name in a crisscross fashion. Place it in a clean jar with a lid, and pour honey or sugar over it. The “sweet” energy of the sugar or honey will surround them and add sweetness to everyone involved.

I hope these techniques help you deal with the negativity in your life. Sometimes the best thing in these situations is to completely cut the source of negativity out of your life. This isn’t always easy, but it is very powerful.

The old saying is true… you are the company you keep!

I hope these suggestions offer something for your spiritual practice! Please, let me know if you have any other questions.

Comment below, or tweet @ShaheenMiro #TheGypsyTalks

© Shaheen Miro 2014

Raging Against Change

From The Victorian Romantic Tarot

If you are raging against the dance of change and trying to hold onto a worn-out situation you are going to feel lost and drained. The signs that you are resisting change come in many forms but the most basic sign is feeling frustrated, angry or depressed.

It’s not hard to feel listless and apathetic or to feel like there is no joy left in what your doing, but what is hard is having the strength to acknowledge that feeling and walk away. You must do what feeds your energy, that’s how you stay strong, healthy, abundant and balanced.

Chronic situations in your life serve as teachers. These situations are asking us to shed light on what is happening around us. You have to be willing to be mindful of every moment that you are living. Tune in daily to your thoughts and feelings regarding what you are giving your energy to.

Sometimes we put wishful thinking into these chronic situations. You may say, well my marriage hasn’t ended yet because we are soul mates, we just have problems. But don’t let this teacher be an enabler. You can’t make excuses for yourself. Often times the lesson is as simple as recounting what has taken place and making sure you keep it in mind.

Remember that change is a door to new opportunity. You may fear change because it is taking you out of your element, but if you aren’t happy where you are… then why fear the unlimited potential of change. It is almost guaranteed that if you dance with change and have an open mind and heart something good will come of it all.

Tap into your inner world daily and ask yourself what is happening inside. What do you feel about the situation you are in? How are your needs being met? How is your energy being fed? Are you getting back what you are giving out?

Look for signs from your higher self, your intuition and your guides. There is always a mystical path being laid out before you if you only have the courage to look for it. Pull on the thread and let the whole ball of possibilities unravel.

Moments of silence and self-reflection are powerful tools when going through changes. It’s as if you are bracing yourself for a storm. Build up your inner world and visit the beautiful sanctuary inside of you daily. Befriend your place of wisdom and never do anything unless it feels right in your core.

Be brave. Tap into your light and trust that it is time to change if you no longer feel content, if you feel worn out and tired. Look for resistance in your body as signs and places of clutter or chaos in your home. These are all mirrors for your energetic self.

Let my fire burn into the infinity of the Sun.

Give me the light of the Moon as a lantern to guide my way.

Open me to the hush of the warm nights air to hear the change.

Wrap me in the velvet of the ocean so I will not break.

Root me deep into the belly of Mother Earth so I am sustained.

-Shaheen Miro

 

© Shaheen Miro 7/19/2012

Walls Around You

You burn inside, hot and sticky, as these feelings curl up your spine. That person enters your presence and you are melting again, trying to hold your soft parts together. You could be liquid fire in front of him/her. The desire makes you ache… it’s too much.

We all want something, we all long for something. It could be a person or thing… you reach for it, grasping sand, that slips through closed fingers. It is always coming and going, and the feelings are undying. How do you gain composer with such a fever?

Boundaries are essential. You can’t live with them and you cant live without them. I affectionately told my friend the other day, “you can’t have your vodka and drink it too”… or can you. At the end of the day it boils down to what feels right to the ego and what feels right to the soul and how you can discern the two.

I know I have people in my life who walk in and out and they have free rein, and sometimes I shoot myself in the foot for being naïve enough to allow it, but my heart says one thing and my mind says another. You never know what to say in those situations, “Hey old friend, I love you, but you’re hanging around more than I like.” How do you articulate that without coming off like a total jerk?!

Break down the situation into intention. What is your intention with this person? Do you expect to gain something for your lack of boundaries? If you let them do whatever they want to you, do you think they will eventually give you what you want? Are you afraid to upset the peace? Do you think something will click? Will they change? You can’t live your life waiting for rainbows. Hope is a dirty, nasty word because it implies that something is impossible.

Who matters most? Do you have to sacrifice yourself to make this person happy? Or to get what you want? To have that dream job? Are you selling one dream to attain another? Are you feeding your own spirit? You have to look at each situation and know who is the most important person in it… which is YOU. You can be kind hearted, compassionate and giving, and still put yourself first.

When I say put yourself first, I don’t mean in the egocentric sense, I mean in the most loving and positive way. You cannot give to others if you can’t give to yourself… it’s sort of like a garden. If you are growing fruits and vegetables to feed yourself, but give them all away before you get a bite to eat… you’re going to go hungry. Don’t let yourself go hungry. Love yourself. Feed yourself. You will be able to give 110 if you go this route.

Who is holding responsibility? How many times do we get in situations where we give so much away… for a person or a goal and nothing comes back and then we get angry, sad, and guilty? It happens all the time because people place their personal responsibilities in the hands of others. It’s the martyr mentality. People would rather let someone else be responsible for their dreams, hearts and happiness because if things don’t work out, if they are left broken… then they aren’t at fault. BE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOURSELF!!

You can see from the other person’s perspective if you want, but no matter how many times you walk in their shoes, you will never be them. You cannot rationalize for people. You cannot get in their heads and try to figure out what you are doing wrong or why they treated you a certain way.

You control the reaction. I think the most powerful piece of wisdom we can all take to heart is, we are in control. You may not be able to change circumstances, move mountains, change peoples minds, manipulate bank accounts… though you would be surprised… but what you can do is control your reaction.

What makes you feel out of control? Is it when you don’t get your way? Maybe its when you feel you look weak? Or embarrassed? Or when you don’t have enough?  Find your point of weakness and let it become your strength.  That becomes you point of power and allows you to gain a sense of control.

If you are in situations that feel icky, sticky and bad, stop for a second and breathe. Ground and center into the moment, call your energy back and release whatever negative feelings you have toward the situation or person. You have to lighten your load so that you can be free to move and grow and fly to whatever places you want.

EXERCISE:

Write your feelings out. Write letters to the place that hurts. If it’s a person, then write to them and tell them all the things you wish you could say to their face. Let the venom out. Be angry, sad or crazy! The page can take it. If it’s something you want or situations you are in then write to that as well… give it a persona and talk about how you feel. Let everything out. Now burn it! Or Flush it down the toilet! Let the old go, you have no need to cling to it. You are releasing this place of resistance to create room for boundaries and protection. You are changing your intention and your reaction.

It’s hard to create these boundaries in life because you want something and you know it’s negative for you. You struggle to see the truth. It’s easy to deny what our soul is trying to show us, but if you stop for a second and ask yourself if you are happy in a situation and hesitate for a second to respond “yes”, then you may need to evaluate what is holding you there.

 

Fear is usually the culprit for unhappiness… we are afraid of something! This gets back to intention. Face your fears. Look them in the eye, with a big F-You and take back your power! Set up a new plan and take a new route.

Lastly, Patience is your friend! We all want, what we want on our terms, in our time and when we don’t get it we get angry… which creates a place of resistance and alters your intention. Stay grounded and centered, and be patient. What you want will come in it’s time… and part of this patience is allowing yourself room to mess up, to be blind, to have to reroute yourself.

Don’t ever regret losing sight of your boundaries… it happens to everyone. What matters is that your eyes have been opened and you are working to better the situation. Get bold gypsies, say what you need to say and be fearless!

And don’t be afraid to reward yourself!

Much love…

Shaheen

© Shaheen Miro

The Gypsy’s Tricks for Spiritual Cleansing and Protection: Understanding Energetic Cords

Energetic cords are created from attachments that we make to people, places, things and ideas. Negative energetic cords are often the source of our depleted energy, fatigue, depression and anxiety… and they can keep us from manifesting our goals, dreams and desires.

I hope these techniques offer something for your spiritual practice! Please, let me know if you have any other questions.

Comment below, or tweet @ShaheenMiro #TheGypsyTalks

 

Did you enjoy this post? You may also like:

The Gypsy’s Tricks for Spiritual Cleansing and Protection: Introduction 

The Gypsy’s Tricks for Spiritual Cleansing and Protection: A Spiritual Bath

The Gypsy’s Tricks for Spiritual Cleansing and Protection: Aura Repair Tea

The Gypsy’s Tricks for Spiritual Cleansing and Protection: Chinese Vinegar 

 

© Shaheen Miro 12/23/2011