Death is a reminder to us that everything is in constant motion; an endless dance that moves us from one phase to the next. Passing through doors you remain a part of the changeless change. As a caterpillar dies to the beauty of a butterfly, so does our soul here on earth shed it shell to fly with something a little more spectacular, brilliant and gleaming. Death is the teacher, the keeper and the lover. Death gives us the gift of living… if only we see it before our time.
I’ve been feeling a little bit ungrounded lately, trying to juggle myself between school, life, and all the things in between. Sometimes I feel like I need a respite from it all, just a little more time to allow myself to be… in silence and healing. Sometimes I imagine the strong and gentle arms of the universe cradling me, with warm and loving embrace and a lullaby that calms my heart and soul. I wish I could stay in those moments forever.
It may be wise for me to invest in a mental health day, just to lay around in my pjs and read or do something that is carefree. I am in dire need of a recharge. I think that this time of the year always lends itself to letting go of things… it’s a time of purging the old and the worn out. I have been in an intense process of alchemy for some time now, London was a huge part of this, and now that I am back the change continues… but I am now really learning to let go.
Part of me is saddened by this process of letting go because it means that I not only have to let go of worn out ideas and beliefs, but also people. Sometimes we out grow our time together and we have to say goodbye, with love and thanks… we cherish the good that comes with a friendship/partnership and then it’s time to move on and we have to keep the good with us… but it’s never easy.
I have been learning to not take things so personally from other people because we are all doing the best we an at the time, but I am however learning to take better care of myself. I am learning that I teach people how to treat me, how to love me, how to respect me… and if it’s not how I want to be treated then I have to make a change. Now is the time for me to wave goodbye to the old ones, the dying legends. I want to recover the parts of me that have been buried under dust.
For some time I haven’t been writing here because I just haven’t known what to say, but I hope that can change soon. I want to share everything, and I want to know all the facets of your story as well. For me I’ve needed a bit of rest from writing because I’ve needed to be with my feelings on the inside. Lately I haven’t felt that inspired, school especially has been hard. I feel like I am not hearing my muse… and sometimes I feel like I am recycling old ideas. I have always said that the chronic things in our lives are teachers that we have decided to ignore… maybe I should ask myself what I’m not learning.
I know that this time of year is about letting go, like I said we are purging for the rest of winter. How are you feeling? Is there anything that you are trying to let go of? Maybe it would help if you wrote it down somewhere… maybe write an “unsent” letter to yourself, or the person who you are feeling trouble with. Allow yourself to release, even if it feels scary. You will feel much lighter if you trust in the process… I am trying to do that very thing.
Many blessings to all of you… to the gypsies
© Shaheen Miro 10/10/2011
The air is cool this morning and it wraps around me, almost refreshing…bringing me back to my senses. I spent a few extra minutes in silence this morning, feeling it essential to my daily routine. I felt like I needed to be grounded in the moment and I silently ask spirit to fill me with light and carry me through the day.
I spent most of my night writing. I felt emotional about so many things, issues old and new. It was startling to see how much of a hold some things have on me. Issues I thought I’d worked trough and feelings I thought I had dissolved. I’m so much more aware at night. Something about the darkness and the sort of hush that falls over us. Things look different at night, one thing becomes another and that’s when the ghost begin to roam.
After having a night of release, giving baggage to the dark, I sit here this morning feeling lighter. I feel like I am taking steps and though I still feel tired… I know changes are taking place and they will lead me to where I need to be.
I pulled a card this morning and two other ones decided to jump out as well. So I was given: the Hermit, the knight of wands, and the temperance. The temperance I actually pulled and the other two jumped out. I feel that these three cards are very relevant right now.
The hermit is one of my favorite cards. He asks me to go within and see my wisdom. It’s interesting because the hermit ask you to be alone or reminds you that you are alone for a reason. Greta Garbo once said, “I want to be alone. I just want to be alone.” I was inspired by that line for a project I did and yesterday I was interviews about it. Coincidence? Never. I have to embrace my time away and I have to embrace the life ahead, and stay centered.
The knight of wands speaks to me about My ideas. I feel like he wants me to take action and to set into motion my ideas and dreams. I’m not sure yet what that could be. I have so many ideas. Maybe that’s why the hermit urges me to meditate and be still. I feel the knight is a leader as well, he blazes trails. The knight of wands goes out and makes his path, he doesn’t hold back and he can be a little impatient at times.
The temperance is a gentle card. She speaks of patience. I need to be patient in all that I’m doing. What a conflicting message, the knight of wands is telling me to take action…but I think the Temperance is reminding me to stay centered and to allow things to gently unfold. I must stay in motion, even if it’s slow motion. The temperance ask us to find balance as well, which is something I am seeking everyday. Being on a trip like this causes you to be thrown out of balance on a lot levels, so you have to be very aware of yourself.
I feel better after seeing these cards. They are a reflection of my recent actions and I at least know I’m on the right path.
The next few weeks will be interesting. I cant decide where I want to be. London or home. There are things here that I feel I haven’t experienced yet and there are things at home that I had hoped would be healed and over by my return and I fear they aren’t. I am ready for so much to be laid to rest but I guess it happens in it’s own time.
“The morning star is burning brightly. She brings on the day time. I reach to touch her, gently quivering from the strain. She say, ‘you’ll only do this one more time… with your bright eyes’. I began to confuse growth with pain. I confessed to her my fears and she said nothing. She is still waiting for me to find the answer. So here’s to searching, in the stillness of the dance.”
I hope everyone has an amazing day.
(c) Shaheen Miro 8/17/2011
Lately I have felt unable to write here. Sometimes writing to me is like being haunted, you can feel the presence of something looming, stalking, roaming somewhere behind you. I sometimes stop and ask, “what are you? What do you want to say?” But only when the ghost is ready does it answer.
Sometimes I write things and I read back and think, “wow that’s exactly how I feel!” and other times I look at the page, a little jaded, thinking my attempt to capture a feeling seems half hearted and worn out. But I gently remind myself that it’s all part of the journey and I just keep writing. I try to stay in motion.
Yesterday I spent time with a friend that I made here in London. He is a wonderful person. Though I’ve only known him for a short while, I can tell he is genuine… One of those people you can trust with anything.
Him and I spent the day at the market and then we had tea and talked in the park. We went to the market so I could get this bracelet I saw there a few days before. Its a silver cuff in the form of an owl that’s wings wrap around your wrist. I fell in love with her the first time I saw her and she stayed with me… So I had to go back and get her. After searching through stalls and stalls we finally found her again.
I wrote a poem about five years ago called the Haunting Owl. It was inspired by me seeing an owl in the daylight three distinct times all within a few days of each other. Now I feel like I’ve found her…in London. I will cherish this piece because it brings the spirit of that poem to life and it reminds me that there are those moments when the spirit of your words come to life and take flight.
So ending my day with my friend, we sat in the park by a church and talked about life and writing and music. We shared our stories, adding a much needed spark of inspiration to both of our lives. In the park were flowers and herbs and near to where we sat was a sage bush. It’s leaves were beautiful silver green and I spotted it the moment we sat down. I have always loved sage. I picked a few leaves, rubbed them together takin in their essence. Then gently tucked them into my journal as a symbol of cleansing and renewal.
It was a great day. Sometimes you need something in your life that just recharges you. It’s often the simple things. Time with a caring friend. The cool breeze of a park scented by sage. And a warm cup of mint tea.After all the rioting and the chaos that ensued I was left feeling a little abandoned and somewhat afraid. But I soon realized that I have a micro family here. People really showed they cared and it touched me. I feel more at ease now and yesterday helped bring me back to center.
I looked at my calendar this morning. I only have a few weeks left here and now I feel I will truly miss it. It has been magical, emotional and life changing. I’ve seen so much in such a short time. Another chapter of my life has been written, another facet to my journey. I came here to grow and I have and London will always be a part of me.
I hope all of you are doing well. Give me an update. Share your stories with me. I hope no matter what your doing… I hope your still dreaming. The worlds big, it’s badass and sometimes it pulls us under, but if you keep sight of something with meaning you will make it.
“I watched it burn. I watched them learn. I watched us pull from the ash something of change. I watched them cry. I watched them laugh. I watched them love again. So the haunting owl whispered on the wind.”
(c) Shaheen Miro 8/15/2011
The rain has been falling for days as a reminder to me and to the world that it is time to wash away the hurt and the pain… its time to wash away the shell that we have built around us to make us numb to our feelings. It’s okay sometimes to be stormy and to totally lose composure. Sometimes you have to dance with the fire in order heal the burn.
I have watched so many people push their feelings and emotions away. Locking them tightly inside like Pandora and her cursed box. It’s within that they build and become insidious, finally finding a way to bubble to the surface… they peak their heads out eventually, saying, “hey remember me the nasty little creature you locked away long ago?”
Its time to face our fears, dance in the dark, pull off the mask and break it. Its time to live a little because until you learn to let loose and actually be with the wind, the rain and the water, you are only going to drawn under the pressure. Eventually something has to be done, some form of spiritual house cleaning.
I keep hearing the famous line from Fleetwood Mac’s Dreams, “When the rain washes you clean you’ll know” and I think I am beginning to understand the process of cleansing. There are still so many layers to break through, to wash away and to really come face to face with. One thing I know is now its time, time to get back to basics and time to get back to spirit.
I want to stand outside and spin until all the colors of blue, black and purple swirl into gray, until the ground and the sky rumble as one. I want to spin until I become the eye of the storm. I want to spin until there is nothing left but the rotation of change. I want to spin until I am one with the great wheel of the universe. The truth of dancing with the chaos is finally settling into my bones.
The only way to the light is through the dark. I think that having a beautiful, peaceful and spiritual life is all about learning to move and bend. Spiritually we must be like a tree in a great storm… if we are rigid and unwilling to move, then parts of use begin to crack and break and eventually our foundation will be pulled away. Movement is key in all of this. Movement is among the most important spiritual keys to follow.
I ask you to stand in the rain and rage with the thunder and be cleansed by the water and then as all the layers of fear, pain and negativity fall away declare, “This is MY life and MY truth. I will move with spirit and dance with destiny.”
Take from this rain the truth that there are signs everywhere speaking to us, asking us to pay a little closer attention. Signs come from everywhere and they may be global or personal, just look for the essence of everything and allow yourself to connect with the essence of everything rather than the shell.
So much love,
The day has been very busy and draining. I found myself driving around relentlessly looking for a new car with my best friend and every lot we passed seemed to take us further into used car hell. I couldn’t look at another one because they all reeked of worn out energies and neglect.
Shortly after I began to finish up some sewing, which was part nightmare, part dream come true. The process of taking one of your beautiful designs and bringing it to life can often times suck the passion right out of the project. You work on a design and then you finally take a look at it and think, “God I am so tired of looking at you.” But really you know that it’s the lack of sleep and the extreme exhaustion talking… so I pushed on telling myself one more stitch and it will all be over.
Dinner was wonderful. I needed something to recharge me and to put my evening in wind down mode. Getting home and seeing my little black cat allowed me to be at ease and I decided it would be a wonderful time to pick a tarot card for the month.
Shuffling the Zerner Farber Tarot deck I found myself being pulled in by all the wonderful colors. This deck has been with me for many years and I love how rich it is in symbolism. I pulled out only the major Arcana and asked the cards, which one wanted to speak to me… I pulled The Sun card.
A beautiful card to have, especially when you are feeling exhausted. The Sun speaks of good fortune and energy entering into your life, a resurgence of good health and positive thinking. This card to me says that my body and immune system are getting stronger and that the icky energies of the winter are beginning to completely wash away.
As a creative person this card is usually a signal that a new project or artistic endeavor is about to ensue. I find it fascinating that the Sun card appears as if it is warming and nurturing precious seeds of inspiration allowing them to grow and bloom into consciousness. So I stand here ready and willing to accept this wonderful gift and to carry on with being creative.
There is a message for everyone in this card right now. Because the sun is the source of all life here on planet Earth it symbolizes a sense of vitality, strength and even community. This card is a reminder that the light only shines on those who willing invite it.
As a community this planet has really done very little to sustain a sense of love, acceptance, support and brotherhood. Its time to realize that in order to heal the planet and to heal our selves we have to start with loving one another. Love everyone you see and know that they love you too… at least the best way they know how.
The Sun reminds us that there is beauty everywhere. The spring is here and everything is coming back to life. As we watch the flowers bloom we should allow the special parts of us to bloom too. Give your concerns to the light and allow your unique talents to shine.
Take a few minutes to visualize a beautiful bright light, like that of a warm summers sun shinning down on you. Let it filly your every cell, pore, bone, muscle and fiber. Let the light fill your mind and spirit. As the light floods through you, it cast out all the negative and unhealthy energies. See yourself shinning brightly like colored glass in a window. Ask yourself now, “What can I invite into my life to make it a little brighter?”
© Shaheen Miro 4/18/2011
Death is the traditionally the 13th card in the Major Arcana of the Tarot deck. This is one of the most feared and misunderstood cards of the deck and I often hear people say, “God I hope I don’t get the death card!” because it terrifies them. I am here to tell you that the Death card is one of the most magical, brilliant and truly spiritual cards of the Tarot.
First let me say that this card would be more appropriately titled “Transformation”. If this card is pulled it is more likely speaking of a metamorphosis, rather than a physical death. Many people fear the idea of death because they fear loss, but death is actually a strangely intimate and wise creature. Death allows us to be reborn and renewed.
Whenever I think of this card, I instantly think of the metamorphosis of a butterfly. How it changes from a less than beautiful caterpillar to something gorgeous and ephemeral. Think of yourself in this same way. It’s much easier to ride the waves of change than to fight them, and in the end there is always a treasure to be cherished.
With the card of death always comes a lesson. You have completed one phase of learning and you are now entering another. I feel that if the death card comes up you have triumphed over something difficult and it’s now time to rejoice. But death may also council you to befriend your fears before they get the better of you.
To understand this card you must take to heart the simple truths of death itself. Death has no bias, it has no favorites; death is simply a law that energy must abide by. The truth is nothing can ever be destroyed, so you have to think of death as a gatekeeper of sorts or the doorway itself.
If you get this card then you are in an extremely powerful place of change, where energies are being shifted and transmuted. This card may herald new beginnings in your life physically, mentally or spiritually. Be ready for these shifts and embrace them.
There is nothing frightening about death; from it stems a new phase of consciousness. Be open to transformation. As you transform the old, worn-out and tired parts of you are reborn into something new.
© Shaheen Miro March 19/2011