the story begins at the end

There has been a gap in my daily writing since I returned from London and I have missed it greatly, but I needed time to get settled back into my life here. This summer has been like the constant turning of a wheel, moving faster than ever and I have just given into the change.

Now I live in a huge old apartment where memories and ghost roam, amongst collections of trinkets and exotic fabrics. I sing songs to myself as I drink tea near my window that over looks the eclectic mix of shops lining the street below. I take it all in… feeling a surge of something strange and exquisite. In 15 days I have greeted more new faces and said more goodbyes than ever before and in this gentle dance with the new and uncharted. I have found parts of myself that were either hidden or missing.

Sometimes I close my eyes and try to imagine my time in London because it seems so surreal. It feels like yesterday and yet it still feels like it was ages ago. This has been a twilight period for me, a wonderful set of events have been unfolding, but the meaning of it all is still unclear. The life I returned to here is much different than before, which is what I needed… but I am just beginning to feel grounded.

A calm that I have never felt before has come over me. I feel more grounded, though constantly in motion. I have been blessed with second chances with many people in my life. Looking at things with new eyes has given me the chance to appreciate people more, to see them as more mature and enlightened or maybe I have just grown. I have begun to realize that the magic lies in the experience that you have, the people you pull into your story.

London will always be a part of my spirit. I learned how to be free, how to be alone, I learned how to raise my voice and how to let my spirit go. I also learned what I don’t want in my life and what I do… what’s truly important. I realized that having friends is about quality not quantity… I only want the people who will move me, change me, and enlighten me. I met some amazing people in London who I will never forget.

Working as an intern in Fashion Design was different than anything I have ever done before and it opened me up to a whole new set of experiences. It was hard for me at times to conform to this spoon fed idea of what work is, of what success is, of what the world expects of me. I’m always going against the grain a bit I guess… but I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Someone told me recently that you have to be careful not to burn bridges and I responded with, “If I burn a bridge then it was a bridge I wasn’t meant to cross.” I truly believe that. I think you should treat people with love and respect and you should take each experience with an open heart, but you teach people how to treat you and you cannot deny your feelings and push something on your soul because it’s what’s expected. Just live life and listen to your spirit and you will go far.

I hope everyone is doing well and I will be writing more. I have to get myself in the habit of honoring my voice and my spirit. Writing is so soothing to me. Take time to do something that truly soothes your spirit and allows the weight that you have been carrying to lighten a little.

To the gypsies… with love

Shaheen

 

© Shaheen Miro 9/15/2011