My beautiful, fascinating wonderful people… Out there spiraling through the Universe. I hear you. I see you. And I totally feel you. You’re feeling dark. Maybe life is a little sucky? I want to address a few things that I … Continue reading
If you are raging against the dance of change and trying to hold onto a worn-out situation you are going to feel lost and drained. The signs that you are resisting change come in many forms but the most basic sign is feeling frustrated, angry or depressed.
It’s not hard to feel listless and apathetic or to feel like there is no joy left in what your doing, but what is hard is having the strength to acknowledge that feeling and walk away. You must do what feeds your energy, that’s how you stay strong, healthy, abundant and balanced.
Chronic situations in your life serve as teachers. These situations are asking us to shed light on what is happening around us. You have to be willing to be mindful of every moment that you are living. Tune in daily to your thoughts and feelings regarding what you are giving your energy to.
Sometimes we put wishful thinking into these chronic situations. You may say, well my marriage hasn’t ended yet because we are soul mates, we just have problems. But don’t let this teacher be an enabler. You can’t make excuses for yourself. Often times the lesson is as simple as recounting what has taken place and making sure you keep it in mind.
Remember that change is a door to new opportunity. You may fear change because it is taking you out of your element, but if you aren’t happy where you are… then why fear the unlimited potential of change. It is almost guaranteed that if you dance with change and have an open mind and heart something good will come of it all.
Tap into your inner world daily and ask yourself what is happening inside. What do you feel about the situation you are in? How are your needs being met? How is your energy being fed? Are you getting back what you are giving out?
Look for signs from your higher self, your intuition and your guides. There is always a mystical path being laid out before you if you only have the courage to look for it. Pull on the thread and let the whole ball of possibilities unravel.
Moments of silence and self-reflection are powerful tools when going through changes. It’s as if you are bracing yourself for a storm. Build up your inner world and visit the beautiful sanctuary inside of you daily. Befriend your place of wisdom and never do anything unless it feels right in your core.
Be brave. Tap into your light and trust that it is time to change if you no longer feel content, if you feel worn out and tired. Look for resistance in your body as signs and places of clutter or chaos in your home. These are all mirrors for your energetic self.
Let my fire burn into the infinity of the Sun.
Give me the light of the Moon as a lantern to guide my way.
Open me to the hush of the warm nights air to hear the change.
Wrap me in the velvet of the ocean so I will not break.
Root me deep into the belly of Mother Earth so I am sustained.
© Shaheen Miro 7/19/2012
You burn inside, hot and sticky, as these feelings curl up your spine. That person enters your presence and you are melting again, trying to hold your soft parts together. You could be liquid fire in front of him/her. The desire makes you ache… it’s too much.
We all want something, we all long for something. It could be a person or thing… you reach for it, grasping sand, that slips through closed fingers. It is always coming and going, and the feelings are undying. How do you gain composer with such a fever?
Boundaries are essential. You can’t live with them and you cant live without them. I affectionately told my friend the other day, “you can’t have your vodka and drink it too”… or can you. At the end of the day it boils down to what feels right to the ego and what feels right to the soul and how you can discern the two.
I know I have people in my life who walk in and out and they have free rein, and sometimes I shoot myself in the foot for being naïve enough to allow it, but my heart says one thing and my mind says another. You never know what to say in those situations, “Hey old friend, I love you, but you’re hanging around more than I like.” How do you articulate that without coming off like a total jerk?!
Break down the situation into intention. What is your intention with this person? Do you expect to gain something for your lack of boundaries? If you let them do whatever they want to you, do you think they will eventually give you what you want? Are you afraid to upset the peace? Do you think something will click? Will they change? You can’t live your life waiting for rainbows. Hope is a dirty, nasty word because it implies that something is impossible.
Who matters most? Do you have to sacrifice yourself to make this person happy? Or to get what you want? To have that dream job? Are you selling one dream to attain another? Are you feeding your own spirit? You have to look at each situation and know who is the most important person in it… which is YOU. You can be kind hearted, compassionate and giving, and still put yourself first.
When I say put yourself first, I don’t mean in the egocentric sense, I mean in the most loving and positive way. You cannot give to others if you can’t give to yourself… it’s sort of like a garden. If you are growing fruits and vegetables to feed yourself, but give them all away before you get a bite to eat… you’re going to go hungry. Don’t let yourself go hungry. Love yourself. Feed yourself. You will be able to give 110 if you go this route.
Who is holding responsibility? How many times do we get in situations where we give so much away… for a person or a goal and nothing comes back and then we get angry, sad, and guilty? It happens all the time because people place their personal responsibilities in the hands of others. It’s the martyr mentality. People would rather let someone else be responsible for their dreams, hearts and happiness because if things don’t work out, if they are left broken… then they aren’t at fault. BE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOURSELF!!
You can see from the other person’s perspective if you want, but no matter how many times you walk in their shoes, you will never be them. You cannot rationalize for people. You cannot get in their heads and try to figure out what you are doing wrong or why they treated you a certain way.
You control the reaction. I think the most powerful piece of wisdom we can all take to heart is, we are in control. You may not be able to change circumstances, move mountains, change peoples minds, manipulate bank accounts… though you would be surprised… but what you can do is control your reaction.
What makes you feel out of control? Is it when you don’t get your way? Maybe its when you feel you look weak? Or embarrassed? Or when you don’t have enough? Find your point of weakness and let it become your strength. That becomes you point of power and allows you to gain a sense of control.
If you are in situations that feel icky, sticky and bad, stop for a second and breathe. Ground and center into the moment, call your energy back and release whatever negative feelings you have toward the situation or person. You have to lighten your load so that you can be free to move and grow and fly to whatever places you want.
Write your feelings out. Write letters to the place that hurts. If it’s a person, then write to them and tell them all the things you wish you could say to their face. Let the venom out. Be angry, sad or crazy! The page can take it. If it’s something you want or situations you are in then write to that as well… give it a persona and talk about how you feel. Let everything out. Now burn it! Or Flush it down the toilet! Let the old go, you have no need to cling to it. You are releasing this place of resistance to create room for boundaries and protection. You are changing your intention and your reaction.
It’s hard to create these boundaries in life because you want something and you know it’s negative for you. You struggle to see the truth. It’s easy to deny what our soul is trying to show us, but if you stop for a second and ask yourself if you are happy in a situation and hesitate for a second to respond “yes”, then you may need to evaluate what is holding you there.
Fear is usually the culprit for unhappiness… we are afraid of something! This gets back to intention. Face your fears. Look them in the eye, with a big F-You and take back your power! Set up a new plan and take a new route.
Lastly, Patience is your friend! We all want, what we want on our terms, in our time and when we don’t get it we get angry… which creates a place of resistance and alters your intention. Stay grounded and centered, and be patient. What you want will come in it’s time… and part of this patience is allowing yourself room to mess up, to be blind, to have to reroute yourself.
Don’t ever regret losing sight of your boundaries… it happens to everyone. What matters is that your eyes have been opened and you are working to better the situation. Get bold gypsies, say what you need to say and be fearless!
And don’t be afraid to reward yourself!
© Shaheen Miro
We were beautiful boys, too young to know better, and too proud to walk away. Something died in our hearts and minds, and was left rotting in the dark places of our souls. You had no clue how much you burned me and like a moth, I kept flying, a suicide bomber, back into your light.
They were strange, and made of gold. They glowed with warmth, but to the touch they were cold. You say everything will be okay… but once again, you do not know the path at which they go. They are always leaving. Dispensing their sorrows, to the wind with the dandelion heads. It was almost Summer then.
Keep your clothes on; there is no need to stand bare before me. There is nothing I wish to see, though I know every line that lives under your clothes. You were sculpted from the dark clay of the earth and fired in the kiln of the mountains. I saw you baptized by the fragile sea and kissed by the sun. So stand there in all your glory, but do not shed your clothes… for your exposed body would surly destroy me.
Now that there is nothing left to say. No one dares even write to the other. Let’s just let it float off into dust. You are not a fallen star to me. You will always shine. You gave me a chance, a voice and time to make my art. I have written down every word. I’ve taken it all in. Though we are saying good-bye to dying legends… the legends live on as stars; Lights in the night, to guide us home.
© Shaheen Miro 2/11/2012
I realize that there is no one to blame; not for the way we are feeling. You are distant and I am stumbling. I want everything. You can give me… nothing. I’m not angry anymore… It wasn’t your intention. You never meant to break my heart. You only handled me the way you’ve learned to.
Something shook me, bringing me closer to my center. I stepped back from the mirror, wiped the fog away… I looked at myself, for a change. Words started to come out again, the truth was revealed. I spoke. I secretly forgot about me. You forgot about you. Why do we seek treasure in all the wrong places?
You believed yourself unworthy, and I based my self-worth on your doctrine; written out there in the darkest places. I came back to the middle, where it first began. I went back to meet the past, face to face, reminded of my strange beauty, before the lifeless bled my life away. I am renewed.
In the dark you have begun to glow. In the dark I’ve begun to forgive. There was music, when I went to the Church and lit the candle. The words were unfamiliar, another language. But I recognized the feeling of forgiveness. Forgiveness is gentle like the spirit of a child or an animal; forgiveness entered me.
Once I crossed the ocean and sent my peace offering, the soul could begin to float. You knew I would leave again. I heard the voice, in London. It was an awakening. A light entered my head, and a stream of awareness began to feed into me. Now I am finding it… off in the distance it echoes. I’m following its song.
Your voice is soothing and harsh, yet I am warmed to know you are there. On the other end, where your life is unfolding. I am sending you warm blessings, as you venture into the future. We are closer now than ever. I let go of expectation. I stopped crushing you under the weight. I kept you falling, though you never knew. So now I am here singing… you are there winning. Maybe this is healing.
I will never forget the nights we touched. The times you shared your pain with me. You know every part of me. You’ve studied me. You could recreate my portrait. I know you inside. I know your voice. We are in each other. I live in a glass cage, on a pedestal… in your heart. I won that right.
They can come close to matching me. They have what I wanted. Still I have what they never will. You will show them all my dreams, and secretly you will keep all the love for me. I am safe there. I am not afraid of forgiving…forgiving brings clarity. I’m not clouded anymore, by the weight of you and me.
© Shaheen Miro 1/31/2012
There was something dangerous, sparkling in your eyes. You were hypnotic, like a deadly viper ready to suck the life from my body and soul. I was paralyzed by your poison, the second you touched my lips. I went under softly, quietly. I began to slip away.
There was a numb feeling that lingered heavy in my bones. It made my headache with the sticky sent of sandalwood and perspiration. You were worshipping me, and yet I was the sacrifice that preceded your descent, into the unfaithful underworld. No one knew what you were saying, behind your worlds… only me.
The haunting repeated nightly, the same ritual of sleep, and nightmare, and kiss and touch… and remembering again, and again. The things that could never change; your destiny. You were the one that said, love was the sin. I never questioned one word, nor did I deceive you.
I now know that the truth must be spoken, before the lie becomes too real. So many nights did we lie, never speaking a word of what weighed heavy on our hearts and minds. You were so cold and I was misguided. Two children should never be given a loaded gun, as we blew ourselves beyond recognition of the pure things we once were.
Do you still feel my heartbeat in your ear, as an imprint that will forever live in the scar tissue of your memories? I am not going anywhere, no matter how long it takes for you to get it right. I may change, but haven’t I always been a part of your metamorphosis? You couldn’t get beyond this shadow if you tried, and I thought you were the real king.
Renegades and thieves. They fought to get here to where I held tightly to your china doll eyes. I had everything in my hands, even if I had dropped it a time or two. The cracks were filled. A little memento mori. They can come and say their prayers at night, gently tucked away at my knees. Would you hear them?
The weights are still on me, the heaviness of your body, coiled around mine. I am suffocating. Then I wake up. I see soft, thick smoke, hanging over me in the nighttime. My eyes will never adjust to this madness. You can be a million miles away and even in the darkness of a room, with closed windows and doors… you find me. I lit that candle by my bedside, called on the Gods and dedicated it to your memory.
They dance with the dead sometimes, I hear… down there in the dungeon. You keep going there to repeat your pain. You used to dance with me. If the lips are red, does that mean they are alive? I have looked in the eyes of many dead men… and if you believe the lie just right… they can live again. You were the one dancing with a ghost. You can convalesce your life away.
I hear the moon will grow dark in a few days. So I have nailed all my sorrows and troubles to a board of the purest pine and I have wrapped it in black silk. I will pour vinegar and holy water over it and lay it to rest at the cross roads. Maybe the screaming will subside as Hecate swallows all my pain.
Don’t worry my little sleeping prince, my renegade… even if you are not the real king… I will still believe you. I may say one thing, but read the words behind my lips… that’s where you’ll find the truth. It taste like a bittersweet potion, belladonna and elecampane. Don’t forget me, lingering on your tongue and lips. I will flow into the well of your soul… someday my seeds will grow.
© Shaheen Miro 1/23/2011