I know I’m always like
Telling everybody you don’t gotta be a victim
Life ain’t always fair, but hell is living in resentment
Your happy ending’s up to you
-Kesha, Learn to Let Go
So I have been over here floating on a song stream of Kesha. Her new album Rainbow has ignited something in my soul. Swooning over her new songs… and just feeling all the power, grace, mastery and immense bravery of her words. This girl has become a woman because she owned her shit, she wears her scars like diamond studded jewels and she seems to really be letting go of the doubt, blame and shame that bundled her in pain…
Anyhow, if you don’t know about her and her journey go check it out. Even if you’re not a fan there is something to learn in her message.
I’m sure if you are a person on this spinning mass we call Earth you’ve experienced your own trails and tribulations and can resonate with anyone who’s been through the fire and came out alive. I know I can… in BIG and small ways.
Lately I have found myself revealing and healing so many shadow parts and un-acknowledge wounds. The hungry ghosts of my past hurts have come back to visit. Here I am being the best host I can… setting the table, pouring warm tea, fluffing pillows and lending a listening ear. What do they have to say?
Well the truth is my hungry ghosts have a lot to say. Their biggest message is that everything is okay. The hurt, the pain, the shame of past experiences have empowered me and fortified me against the storms of life. I know now more than ever how strong I am, how hard life can be and how much magic really lives inside of me.
I can say with complete certainty that I see the world as positive place. Benevolence is everywhere waiting to greet us. We have to extend the offer and welcome in the goodness. My positive outlook on life hasn’t come from an easy road filled with rainbows and butterflies, though there have been plenty of those. No, I have seem many fucked up things in my life, felt the pain of so much anger and misfortune. Guess what? I wouldn’t change any of that if I had the chance.
Specially, when I was a teenager I was the victim of a horrible domestic violence that left my mother and me in the hospital nursing physical, mental and emotional wounds. At 15 I was stabbed in the stomach and fought for my life in a hospital bed for months going in and out of conciseness. Bleeding internally and facing my mortality.
I felt physically weak. Emotionally drained. And spiritually charged. Seeing my fragile body trying to pull itself from the clutches of uncertainty taught me a powerful truth. We are as strong as we want to be. I knew that someone attempted to end my life here on earth… and I wasn’t ready to go. By the grace of Spirit, the love of my family and my own magic I found my way back.
I told myself repeatedly that someone tried to end my life… so I wouldn’t do it for them. I made a declaration right then and there that I would not let hate, anger or sadness rule my life. Every second counts for something and I wanted to make the most… I am making the most of it.
Years have passed since that time and I wear my scars proudly. I was a victim to a something horrible, but victim will never be part of my identity. My mother always told me that you are never given more heartache than you can handle, and I remind myself of that every step of the way. When I look at life from this vantage point I realize just how beautiful the beauty around me is. And how fortunate I am to be able to live and tell, breathe and express myself.
We are here to wear all our pain proudly. Your past does not define you. Your fears do not control you. Your spirit is yours alone to define… so express yourself fully, out loud and completely on purpose.
It isn’t always easy to muster your strength when the weight of the world is on your shoulders. People carry burdens that no one else will ever really understand. This can feel isolating and alienating. So many of us feel silenced and alone. But remember that you are beautiful as you are and you have nothing to hide.
Reach out friends. Make connections and share your story. We are more alike than we are different. If we can venerate that truth healing will set in. I know I sometimes doubt myself and slip into judgment, guilt and personal shame. But then I choose to see the other side. I look for the proof that I am worthy of this life and the love that is always being offered.
Countless times in my life I have died down parts of myself to blend in and gain approval. Whenever I have followed that path its lead to more of the same. Dying inside is just as painful as dying on the outside. But remember you are always at choice… so choose to be grace. Choose to be authentic. Choose to be honest. Choose to be divine.
Self-care and compassion are the bravest acts you an commit in your life. If you need help healing then pull another light into your circle and let them hold space for you. Do everything you have to do to become present in the here and now.
Accept your hungry ghosts… they want to heal you and show you how strong you really are. The process can only begin when you allow it. You have to agree on all levels to go into the unknown and come out on the other side with all your treasures.
My positive outlook doesn’t come from magical thinking, it comes from magical living. I know I am always in the process of healing, discovering and unfolding all the parts of myself. I invite you to step into your process. Take your time. Let go of guilt and shame. They have no place in your life. Don’t give them power. Make the choice to embrace all the parts of yourself.
Own your shit and learn to let go… let go of the self-doubt. Let go of the pain. Let go of the guilt. Let go of the shame. Let go of the disapproval. Let go of the smallness. Let go of the Fear. You don’t have to forget. All of this uncertainty becomes illuminated steps on your journey forward.
Whether by choice or force your pain can teach you. Wear your scars my friend. Be bold, brave and completely beautiful. When you make the choice to see your life as a piece of art the pain and imperfections become the unique expression that makes you captivating.
Always sending love…
© Shaheen Miro